Faith Over Fear

So I did a thing yesterday. I exercised my freedom to Vote. I am not going to lie, the feelings I had when I walked out of there were a mixture of pride, relief but most of all FEAR... a few weeks ago I saw my prophet stand in front of the world and remind us that if we are prepared and have faith there is no reason for fear... this election, pandemic and hatred that our world is seeing has really started to take its toll...when I hit that final step voting yesterday “SH&$” got real... I was definitely triggered and the fear rushed through my body, and the tears came rolling down my cheeks... my head began swirling with a hundred thoughts...”I didn’t feel prepared, have I done enough, am I a good person, what is going to happen if Biden wins? Will we lose our freedom? Will we become one of those countries we all hear about where the government is in complete control? What’s going to happen to my children?”

I saw my sweet husband sitting in the truck waiting for me and just like a small child when we are scared and see someone that protects us, I began to cry... I could see the look he was giving me, a look of confusion and as I climbed into the truck I blurted our how scared I am for the future...he comforted me but deep inside the fear continued to rise... we are only a few weeks away from this election and I have seen so many peoples demeanor change... I have seen good, decent people turn ugly towards their neighbor who has a different political view...I have seen them criticize and talk bad about friends and family who disagree about this pandemic and how it should be handled...Satan is hitting us very loud right now, the Holy Ghost is still that “Still Small Voice”, we are getting bombarded with the “LOUD” and chaos surrounding us!!! The stronger Satan is in our life is because he is fearful of us... he is having to be louder and fight harder to try and turn us...

I posted a pic of my sticker on FB that I voted and some of the fears I have been having... my sweet friend Christine reminded me and I quote: "The world is crumbling and I keep praying people will turn to Jesus, and pray for our leaders..I loved this quote in conference (This isn't about politics, it's about peace). All I can do is my part, and hoping we can bring a little more peace those in our homes and around us, all I have control over". 

I know that I need to just let go and let my heavenly father take the wheel. I need to lose the the weight of peoples opinions and remember that they have their agency just as I have mine. Something else I need to work on is "promoting what I love instead of bashing what I hate". I sometimes struggle with the people I work with bashing me and saying things behind my back, I tend to want to argue with them, but read something the other day that really resonated with me " Don't worry about those who talk behind your back. They're behind you for a reason"!!" My patrichael blessing says I will be a "woman among women, one that is looked up to by not only members of the church, but members of the community that you live in".

I am going to pray for my church leaders and the leaders of this country that I live in. I am proud that I served and although it was hard on me physically and mentally I would do it all over again.

I am choosing "Faith over Fear".

 

Strong Woman

 When you are perceived as a strong woman,  they assume you do not need anything or anyone and you can bear everything; and will overcome whatever happens.

When you are perceived as a strong woman, they just look to you to help them carry their burdens and when you share yours, the label you as negative. 

A strong woman is not asked if she is tired, suffering or falling; or if she has anxiety or fear. 

The strong woman is not forgiven for anything. If she loses control, she becomes weak. If she loses her temper, she becomes hysterical.

When a strong woman disappears for a moment, it is immediately noticeable, but when she is there, her presence is unappreciated.

But the strength that is needed every day, to be that kind of woman, is not noticed. 

Honor, recognize, respect and thank the strong women in your life, because they also need to be restrained, loved and feel that they can rest.

I am a strong woman. I am broken, I Laugh, Love and Live, I love my family and was raised by a strong woman. I am me, I am special and I am important. >3

FOR MY FRIEND RAB - I KNOW I WILL SEE YOU AGAIN

Lately I have had Becky on my mind, I am not sure, but I truly I believe I have felt her presence. I love this video and probably watched it 100 times this weekend just reminding myself that I know in my heart I will see her again. We had plans with our girls, they were going to play sports together and shop together and we would see movies together. When she passed away, I was devistated! Ana had been with her that day and the girls were supposed to travel to Flagstaff with her. They didn't want to go and she left them home with Bryce. I just cannot imagine what would have happened to those little girls when that accident happened. However I do know that they were spared for great things and I am so proud of them both. Moving away from Brylnee was hard, we latched onto each other and I love her so much. I sure did love her mom too and miss her alot! We fought so hard in Jr. High and High School because we were both way competitive but it also made us a great team. She coached Kyli to a Softball State Championship and Kyli and I were the first mother/daughter to have State Softball Trophies at the High School! 

RAB - Tattooed in ink on my foot with a dragonfly. Always a reminder of her. I love you and miss you like crazy.

See You Again

Wiz Khalifa

It's been a long day without you, my friend
And I'll tell you all about it when I see you again
We've come a long way from where we began
Oh, I'll tell you all about it when I see you again
When I see you again

Damn, who knew?
All the planes we flew, good things we've been through
That I'll be standing right here
Talking to you 'bout another path
I know we loved to hit the road and laugh
But something told me that it wouldn't last
Had to switch up, look at things different, see the bigger picture
Those were the days, hard work forever pays
Now I see you in a better place (see you in a better place)
Uh

How could we not talk about family when family's all that we got?
Everything I went through, you were standing there by my side
And now you gon' be with me for the last ride

It's been a long day without you, my friend
And I'll tell you all about it when I see you again (I'll see you again)
We've come a long way (yeah, we came a long way) from where we began
(You know what we started)
Oh, I'll tell you all about it when I see you again (I'll tell you)
When I see you again

Aah oh, aah oh
Ooh-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh
(Yeah)

First, you both go out your way and the vibe is feeling strong
And what's small turn to a friendship, a friendship turn to a bond
And that bond will never be broken, the love will never get lost (the love will never get lost)
And when brotherhood come first, then the line will never be crossed
Established it on our own when that line had to be drawn
And that line is what we reach
So remember me when I'm gone (remember me when I'm gone)

How could we not talk about family when family's all that we got?
Everything I went through you were standing there by my side
And now you gon' be with me for the last ride

So let the light guide your way, yeah
Hold every memory as you go
And every road you take
Will always lead you home, home

It's been a long day without you, my friend
And I'll tell you all about it when I see you again
We've come a long way from where we began
Oh, I'll tell you all about it when I see you again
When I see you again

Aah oh, aah oh (uh)
(Yeah)
Ooh-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh (yeah)
When I see you again (yeah, uh)
See you again (yeah, yeah)
Oh, oh (uh huh)
When I see you again (yup)

Friday Night Lights

 In the midst of this pandemic, where schools here in NV are not open yet, and fall sports cancelled, this song makes me sad. Sad for our kids that have lost our on so much this year. Sad for the Seniors that lost their year when this started and sad for the current ones. Ana was planning on playing football. She got to attend a week of practice before we were told our superintendent pulled fall sports. It was heartbreaking. I know there is a lesson here, but dang it I am mad!!

I am so blessed to have grown up in a small town where Friday night football was big. So many memories of games and playing in the band. I loved watching football and supporting our team. So here ya go, Friday Night Lights in a tailgate town!! Missing my hometown right now...<3