The Jungle, The Zoo, The Twighlight Zone, these are terms often used by police officers when roaming the streets we are protecting. One thing about it, it is the "Greatest Show on Earth"!
Unless you have rolled through the dark streets, highways and interstates at the "witching hour", you will NEVER truly understand it! The things that we see and experience in our careers is hard to describe outside of Law Enforcement. The sights and smells burrow deep into our very pores and seep into our very soul. We dwell daily in the underbelly of society. We most often deal with people on their very worst days, or moments! To us it's not just a "job" or "career", it's a calling! It's what we signed up for. It's exciting! Until it isn't!
Day in and day out, rolling around in the pits of hell each shift. Exposing ourselves to constant fear, hatred and darkness. Trying to shove those emotions down each day to transition back to what our families and friends expect of us - NORMAL! Stepping out of one roll to fill another. It's utterly impossible! The dark stays, we take it home, but we don't share! We can't! It's not "fair" to those around us! We are sheltering them, protecting them. That's what were supposed to do, right? However, the more we "protect" those we love, the further down we shove our "baggage". As the years progress the "photo album" in our head of everything we have seen, the demons we faced, begin to come alive! We literally birth them into existence because we didn't take proper steps to purge them, kill them, and eventually they take over!
Our biggest fear is not that of the demons we come in contact with, but the people we work for and with. Our biggest fear involves words such as "unfit, mental health and counseling"! Those words can pull us off the streets, into a desk, and that's NOT where we want to be!
I am fortunate because I am finally at a point that I am mentally healthy. I still struggle and deal with the trauma, but I know healthy ways to deal with it all now. It took alot of intensive and intentional work to make that happen. There were moments and seasons in my career that I was unsure if I would survive emotionally. There was always so much training that involved teaching us to shoot, drive and be physically fit. However, not enough moments of teaching us empathy for each other, how to deal with the death of a co-worker, a critical incident or a trauma.
Those areas are lacking. The stigma of asking for help needs to disappear. There is a war on Law Enforcement right now and too many agencies have people in charge that will not back their officers and turn their backs on them!
So, how do we change this? How do we make a cultural shift for the generations coming in behind us? How do we change the suicide rates, divorces, addictions and stigma about it being a "weakness" to ask for help?
I believe the changes need to come at the academy level. I believe cities, towns, counties and government agencies need to have REAL conversations with their administration. This culture has got to change! However, one of the simplest answers - it starts with you! So, what are you doing?
KT 01-26-21
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