Kisses for Amy

Last year I found a blog about a woman named Amy and her family. They live in Utah. She was diagnosed with cancer in April and lost her life in July of 2010. Her husband started a blog and I would like to include one of his posts. Today I have been feeling a little down and pondering on my trials. I have been praying and was directed to reread this blog. I am humbled at knowing that although I have trials, I have so much to be thankful for, including my health and family. This is a beautiful piece written by her husband and I feel the spirit each time I read it.

As I write this, I am sitting on the front porch enjoying the cool night breeze and the beautiful full moon. (Aren't laptops great.) This just gives me time to relax and think. What a beautiful night. It's nice to have the opportunity to think and pray and sort things out in my mind. I sit and I wonder at all of Gods wonderful creations and how much he loves us, to give us this beautiful earth to live on. I marvel at his matchless love and his power to create and govern all things. I am so grateful for his guidance and the strength he has given me throughout these past few months. I know that he knows and loves me and each of you individually. I am so grateful for my knowledge of the Savior and the plan of salvation and my testimony. There are so many things to be grateful for and I am...

And still I sit her and I wonder what he has in store for me and my family. I wonder why it is that my beautiful wife's time on this earth is almost up. I wonder for what purpose he is taking her from our family at this time in our lives. I wonder how will I continue on without her and what effect this will have on my children's lives. Even with all the knowledge and peace and comfort I have received, there are still so many questions. All I can do is try my best to have faith that He knows the end from the beginning and that Amy's talents and abilities are needed more on the other side of the veil than they are here. I also sit and think of all the wonderful things my wife has done and the amazing legacy she will leave with us. She has attained as much perfection in so many areas of her life as anyone I can imagine and I suppose that she has proven herself a valiant servant and no longer needs to be tried and tested on this earth.

I sit and I think of all the little things that I will miss so much about my wife. I will miss the way we tease each other. I will miss the way she always plans memorable events on holidays and other occasions to help us create so many memories and traditions. I will miss her laugh, her smile and her sense of humor. I will miss the way she lays her head on my chest while we talk in bed. I will miss the way she always says "we need to talk" (even though sometimes I've learned to dread that phrase). and yes I will even miss the way she rolls in bed and wraps the covers around her leaving me to have to snuggle close to stay warm. And then there are all the simple little things that you never realized how much you appreciated, who will pick at the pimples on my back when it breaks out( I know, T.M.I.), or who will scratch my back when I cant reach it or who will remind me (sometimes I called this nagging) of all the things that I need to do. There are so many things that I will miss about my wife that it is impossible to list even a small portion of them. There are so many things about Amy that I have always taken for granted. I just always figured that she would be there. Now I will have to adjust my life to living without having all those things that I really never knew meant so much to me and that is what is going to be the hardest.
Over the past couple of months I have thought long and hard about how much my wife means to me and I have been so grateful for my marriage and the ways in which we have grown together over the years. We have truly been blessed with a great love for each other and we have done a lot to strengthen our relationship over the years though it hasn't always been easy. We have worked hard to overcome differences and difficulties. And as I sit here, I can't help but hope that all of you who read this can have as much happiness and love in your marriage as we have. (Now don't get me wrong it hasn't been total bliss all of the time.) But we have had a strong marriage with all that we have learned and experienced.

I know that there are not nearly as many men who will read this as there are women, but to those who do, I would like to share a little advice with you that might help you to strengthen your marriage... Always take your wife into your arms each and every morning and each and every night and tell her how much she means to you. Don't assume that she knows you love her... tell her... Show her by doing little things to surprise her. Bring home her favorite candy bar when you come home from work just so she knows you were thinking about her. Call her out of the blue during the day and tell her you love her. Tell her something about her that you appreciate each day. think of all the little things you love about her and share them with her. Share a new reason each day. Don't ever think of things that you wish she would improve on, or how you wish she were different in some ways. Always find ways to make her feel like she is your queen. Think of all the things you would miss about her if she were taken from you suddenly, and be grateful for them and show her your gratitude. Don't try to change her, treat her like she is your everything and either change will come because she will want to show you her appreciation in return or more likely you will learn to look past her faults and understand that she is only human and almost as imperfect as you... I know that I directed this to the husbands because I am one, and I suppose I speak from experience as a husband, but I guess that this advice could be just as good for all of you women as well.

Now I know that I am far from a perfect husband and I don't presume to be an expert on relationships but as I have reflected on my own marriage and what has worked and what has not, I have found that our greatest happiness in our marriage came not when my wife was doing all the things that I wanted her to, but when I was doing all the things that I felt she wanted me to. Some how it seems that those efforts were always met with an eventual equal effort on her part to do the same. When we are more concerned about the wants and needs of our spouse than we are with our own wants and needs, we become less self centered and really contribute to the success of our marriages. I am not even sure why I went into all this other than I hope that as a result of the things that I am going through someone else might be strengthened or helped in some way by it. Again, I know I am no marriage counselor, but I have had a lot of time to think about what I will miss about my wife and about all the things I love about my wife. I have tried to be a good husband and I hope that I have shown her the love that she deserves. I don't want to have any regrets. and I hope that each of you will not take for granted the person who should mean the most to you.

I hope each of you who read this get as much from it as I got from writing it. It is such a strength to me to sit down and write the feelings and thoughts that I have. It is a good way for me to sort out my thoughts and feelings. It is a great way for me to reflect on all of my blessings and to recognize all that my Heavenly Father has done for me. I am so grateful to all of our wonderful friends and family who have strengthened me with your words of encouragement and support. I do know that our Heavenly Father loves us and knows what is best for us. He knows our needs and he is aware of our trials and stands ready to give us the comfort we need. The power of prayer is amazing. When we truly come to Him with real intent, he will listen and he will give us what we need to bear our burdens. Thank you all for taking the time to read my ramblings. I know that sometimes I jump from subject to subject but I am just writing the things that are in my heart.

May you all reflect on your own relationships with your husbands or wives and determine to spend your life showing them how and why you appreciate them. May you all find love and joy in your marriages and if you are not married, then may you always remember the things that I have learned and put them to good use when you do get married. May the Lord bless each of you and keep you. It is getting late and I must say goodnight to the beautiful, full moon. Till next time.

We all need AWESOME women, I have the best....

So I wanted to write about the incredible women I have in my life. I know that without them I would struggle so much more than I already do (lol)..So here are a few of them:

There are many more besides my mom and Mary but I could not find pics of them.

Daddy's and Daughter's

So I have to write about the special bond between dads and their girls. I was blessed (notice I say blessed) with three older brothers and I was not only the only girl, but the youngest. So yes I had a great advantage over the three boys. I loved my dad so much and I can remember when I was young how he would always spoil me on valentines day with a small box of chocolates and how special I felt because my mom and I got chocolates but my brothers did not..I was blessed to have the awesome parents that I had and got to see and do alot of things.
Two of my brothers have daughters. This past weekend Kevin's daughter Tessa got married and I captured the most awesome picture that tells the whole story.

I am so thankful that Kyli will have an amazing man to give her away and dance with her and I know Lipe will probably shed some tears himself. Thankfully I still have a while with Ana but she will probably have Lipe and her two brothers out there crying...lol...
I love my brothers, and I love their children. I am so proud of Tessa for the decision she made to have a Temple marriage. She is an amazing young lady and we absolutely love Zach. Congrats pretty girl.

Too Fast

So did you notice the new picture of my kids. Wow they are so grown up. I look at that pic and I just cant believe how time flies. So this pic was taken at the Mesa Temple last week when we were there for Tessa's wedding. Ky was part of the bridesmaides and they all wore peach dresses. We started off at the Temple for the ceremony and then ended up at Zach's Uncles house for the reception. We all had a really great time. Ana put on her dress her grandpa's wife made her for her birthday and she was so beautiful, but she was tired and it "itched" so she didn't keep it on for too long, I was able to get a few pics of her in it though.

So I got another amazing pic of Ana with her big sissy Ky. These two girls are pretty much inseperable when they are together. Just look at how beautiful they are.

And then there is Cooper and his sissy, he loves her so much and misses her.

Kelly also loves his big sister alot.

And last but not least I could not leave this post without posting a pic of my very best friend and eternal companion. I am so much in love with this guy and am so very thankful for all he does for me and out little family.

I just want to say that I am so blessed with four amazing kiddos and am so thankful for the love and happiness they bring into my life. I am watching them grow up right in front of me into amazing young adults and I know they are each going to go far and do awesome things. I know that without my heavenly father I would not have the things that I have today.

Crazy Week

Well the last week has been a crazy one. Full of laughter, stress, and blessings. So how can stress and blessings go together in one sentence. Well let me tell you. I have been so blessed this week and so stressed. I had shoulder surgery last Friday the 19th of August. The surgery went well but I had a really hard time coming out of the anesthesia. It was horrible. I was so dang sick throwing up and just out of it. I finally got home around 2100 hours and my surgery was at 1400 hours. Ky an Bernice came to Flag and that was a treat to see them.

The next few days I was sore but okay. Then on Monday the sling came off and I was pretty much back to normal. On Tuesday morning I got a call from Kyli and she told me that she had been with her roommate and that they had been in a car accident on the Interstate. She seemed okay and kept reassuring me that she was. She was calm and I really thought it was just a fender bender. But the longer the day went on and the more information that I began to receive, my baby girl was not going so good. So mom and I made some arrangements for the other kids and jumped in the car and drove to the valley. Ky was at her roommates moms house and she was not feeling too good. We got her loaded up and took her to the ER by her house at St. Joseph's Hospital. She has a concussion and whiplash.

So those events and being broke off my butt was a little stressful. But Lipe and I paid our tithing on Sunday and I know that my baby girl was okay because she was protected by our heavenly father. He has answered so many prayers for Lipe and I the last few weeks and I am so thankful to have him in my life and for his protecting my kiddos.

Blessings and Stress...Its all good......

Lame

So I am totally lame. I can't believe my last post was in December of last year and we are halfway through August. I swear I am going to better. Filipe and I are traveling home from Snowflake right now. It is raining and there is an amazing lightening storm. We went through the temple and it was awesome being there with my handsome husband. I am so blessed to have him in my life. We had a great meal and now enjoying each others company. Ana got to spend the day with Auntie Mary and she was so excited. I love my heavenly father and recognize that all I have comes from him.

Happy Holidays and Merry Christmas from our family. Well Christmas is in 12 days and the weather has been so nice that it just doesn't feel like Christmas. Yesterday the missionaries spoke in church and they did such a great job. One of the elders told a story about a boy whose brother gave him a nice fancy car for christmas. The car was parked outside in a public place and one night just before christmas he came out to see a poor unkempt boy looking at his car. The other boy asked him if that was his car and he replied that it was and that his brother gave it to him. He was feeling smug at the time. The poor boy began to make a statement "I wish that" and the boy felt that he knew what the poor boys statement would be, " I wish that I had a brother like that". But the poor boy went on to state "I wish that I could be that kind of brother". The statement took the boy off guard. The poor boy then began to make another statement " I wish that I could" and the boy felt that the poor boy was going to say "I wish that I could go for a ride in the car" and the poor boy stated "I wish that someday my brother could ride in a car like this". The boy was again caught off guard. He began to soften a little and asked the boy if he would like a ride home. The boy smiled so big and said that he would. When they arrived at the poor boys home the poor boy ran into the house and scooped up his polio sticken brother, ran him out to the car and the three boys drove around looking at the beautiful christmas lights together. The boy was truly touched and realized how good it felt to give to others.
Today was a good day for me. My Bonco group decided to all pull our money together and give to a needy family. We normally draw names and exchange gifts. We were able to come up with $240.00 and I proposed to them that instead of just one family, we could donate the money to Parenting Arizona which is a group that sponsors about 70 families in the area. They do a christmas party for all their families and feed them and buy all the kids involved a toy. I had to the opportunity to call the head of that group and tell her that I had the money for her. She was so touched and told me that she and her staff were just dicussing how they were going to pull that off and that we were an answer to her prayers. It was so awesome. It felt so good. So thank you ladies of my Bonco group. We did an awesome thing and we will be blessed.
I challenge all of you to find someone in need of a few minutes of your time over the next two weeks and do something nice for that person. It does not have to involve money, just a little bit of your time. Pray for the opportunity to serve and then listen when you are given the prompting and no matter how busy you are there is ALWAYS time to serve others. Happy Holidays to you and yours. We are truly grateful this holiday season for friends and family. We love you all.
Tausinga's, Filipe, Kristi, Kyli, Kelly, Cooper, and Ana Ray